Ants!

Ants on the window sill

Ants in the sink

Ants coming in to my house

Now that’s not a big deal

Not nearly as bad

As a Black Widow spider or mouse

But I just can’t abide

Any unwanted guests

They sure weren’t invited by me

So I headed for town

To our small hardware store

It was poison I wanted, you see

He gave me a bottle

Said it should do the trick

Just a drop that’ll hardly be seen

They’ll haul it on back

to their big old ant farm

And feed quite a bit to their queen

So I took it on home

And spread some around

I was ready to send em to Hell

In a few days it seemed

That there weren’t quite as many

came to answer Old Death’s dinner bell

And the next day, a few less

And the day after too

I could see that their numbers were down

Till at last only one ant

Survived from the nest

As I watched him I started to frown

The next day he came

And the day after that

It seemed not to affect him a bit

I used the whole bottle

He ate it with glee

He was starting to give me a fit

The it finally hit me

A Mutated Ant!

I’d seen ‘em in movies for years

His genetics were boogered

His chromosomes wrong

And I trembled from my darkest fears

At dawn the next day

I was ready for him

A swatter, some bug spray, a bat

A gas mask, a flare gun,

a great big  Buck knife

And  a beat up old ironworkers hat

I waited in vain

Till late afternoon

The I said “Ha, he’s give up the ghost”

So I poured some Tequila

Put my weapons away

And proposed an appropriate toast

“Here’s to you Ant”, I said

“You were tougher than most”

As I raised up my glass with a grin

“But you couldn’t stand up

To superior brains……”

Then the Cuervo dripped from my chin

From outside on the window sill

He looked at me

I swear that he gave me a wink

Then he jumped off the window

Out into the yard

As a cold sweat dripped into my drink

In a flash he was gone

Out through the brush

A spawn of the nuclear age

He’d prosper no doubt

And find more of his kind

Hidden out there in the sage

Now I sit here convinced

He’ll be coming back soon

And I think I feel my skin blanche

He’ll show up with his friends

And he’ll be six feet tall

Anyone want to buy a used ranch?