The Wire Greenhorn

It seemed that the Wire was quiet at last.
Could be that folks ran out of steam.
Could be for a moment  that bygones were past,
or could be I was havin a dream

Nope, I checked several threads and things were quite mellow.
No fussin or fightin right now.
Nobody callin another pard yellow
because he belonged to NCOWS.

All the yellin bout race guns and trick Gamer boots,
and DQs, and short strokes, and brass
and “you make the call” guys, and “Warthog” Galoots,
all seemed to just fade in the past.

I searched high and low but I just couldn’t spot
even an off topic post.
Not a word about golf, or “Heres’s an ink blot”,
or “Wow! This beer’s really the Most”.

Thought I’d check The Saloon. Was it normal in there?
I wandered in playin a hunch.
Nope. A few wacky jokes about losin your hair
and Forty-Rods Grumpy Lunch Bunch.

Went back to the Wire and stared at the screen
It seemed the whole world held it’s breath
Surely someone would post something stupid or mean
that some others would beat flat to death.

It didn’t take long just a moment or two
When the Universe all balanced out
The post said “Well Howdy, I’m really quite new”
“Yeehaw”, I started to shout.

“I been reading the Rules”, the greenhorn went on
“And here’s one or two questions for you”
“Yup, this’ll be good unlessn’ I’m wrong”
I could smell something starting to brew.

“I see that you need a lever gun here”
But most of my rifles are black.
But my 1903 has a lever of sorts
It moves up, then it moves back”

“So I guess that’ll do me but what about hats?
I ain’t got a real hat, dadgonnit
But I got a good ball cap. How about that?
Got a big star and COWBOYS right on it!”

And then, “Do you all have to shoot with women and girls?
I don’t think they know what they’re doin”
As I read some more of this newcomers pearls
I was right. Something was brewin!

He went on, “I really don’t think I should work
On a posse. Druther sit on my ass.
And I know I ain’t shot yet, continued the jerk
But I’d like to propose a new class.

Now this new guy, (I’m drawin a blank on his name)
Didn’t bring nothing new to the roast
I’d heard all the things that he said ‘bout this game.
Never heard it all in just one post!

“I reckon Black Harris will be pullin his hair
Editing things to and fro
“Yup”, I grins to myself and sat back in my chair
This is going to be quite a show.