Lemons
They sat in the case at the local gun shop
Gleaming like diamonds so bright
He reached for his wallet, he just couldn’t stop
He was plumb hypnotized by the sight
He hurried on home and polished them there
Not a speck of dust would remain
The first in his club to possess such a pair
Now they all would remember his name!
Never heard of this gun brand but he had no fear
That didn’t bother him none
No reputation of track record here
But just look how they gleam in the sun
At the range his first shot was a bit to the right
Maybe 12 inches or so
He figured it must be a trick of the light
His next shot was 9 inches low!
The next one was left and more than a bit
Our hero was starting to sweat
He fired the next round, couldn’t tell where it hit
He was staring to have some regrets
He shook off the laughter of the guys at the range
With just a few tears in his eyes
Went home to his bench, got his tools all arranged
And received an unpleasant surprise.
He slugged the first gun with a feeing of peril
“It’s too tight!”, He moaned in his pain
But the same bullet rolled down the other gun’s barrel
Like a pea in a 6 inch storm drain.
Then he took them apart and noticed the rattle
And the filings that fell to the floor
He had seen more precision in a dang herd of cattle
These new guns were much less than poor
There were things that were bent and things that were broken
And pieces that just didn’t fit
Buyer Beware were words he should have spoken
As he threw a big gunfighter’s fit
Down to the gun shop he stormed like the wind
Not a happy cowboy at all
When he got there he found a long line to stand in
And he waited. Then “Next!” came the call
He growled then and slammed the two new six-guns down
“REFUND!”, was all he could croak
“Well your too late my friend. This here outfit skipped town”
“Your beef is with them but they’re broke!”
“They stiffed all their workers. The factory’s shut
And people are howling for death!
Now you might just get lucky. You might get a break
I don’t think I’d be holdin my breath.”
Dejected and crushed with his hat in his hand
Heartbroken, in the depths of despair
He drove in to the city for their “Gun Buyback Plan”
And got two hundred bucks for the pair.
